I’s Going GetCHA Car Services

So I amuse me. . . I was trying to figure out the best way to get Gina from BWI to DC when she comes for her visit next month (in like 16 DAYS) so I scouted out some places and I received a response that I couldn't HELP but Mock, so think of "I’s Going GetCHA Car Services" for all your airport needs in the future.

This first email is the actual email I received (numbers and details blocked out for their protection)

ING Limousine

MD – DC - VA

301-XXX-XXXX

Dear Jennifer,
Thank you for choosing us. I will be more than happy to assist you with your airport transportation. I am pleased to inform you, the Luxury Sedan you requested is Available. As described in your email, I am happy to offer you the unbeatable rate of:

BWI – DC - $80.00

DC – BWI - $80.00

Gratuity and Taxes are already included in this rate.
With ING Limousine, you can expect:
Complementary cold bottle of water

Complementary Local newspaper and monthly magazines

Complementary Meet & Greet service at the airport

NO toll charges

New and Clean Luxury Lincoln Town Cars

Professional, uniformed & well trained chauffeurs

24 hour, 7 days a week personal service

Major credit cards accepted
You can call us 24 hour at: 301-545-0000 or Click on Reservation Online to make reservation and we will Email you the confirmation number.We do appreciate your business and looking forward to hear from you. Best regards,

______________________________________________________________

Now here was the email I sent to Gina:

I’s Going GetCHA Car Services

North Carolina to any where cool

336-XXX-XXXX

http://www.justjen79.com/

Dear Gina,
Thank you for picking me’s. I wilst be more than tickled pink to assist you with your airport transportation. I am delighted to lets you knows the Volkswagen GTI yous requested is Available. (Well we dun took it off the sinder blocks in the yard and they say it ready to go, as soon as we can get that there engine turned over). As described in your email, I am happy to offer you the unbeatable rate of:

BWI – DC - FREE

DC – BWI - FREE

Gratuity and Taxes are already included in this rate.
With I’s Going GetCHA Car Service, you can anticipate:
Free for yous empty bottles on the floor boards in multiple shapes and sizes

Complementary mail clippings and receipts

You’s probably going to smell something questionable

Partial ability to see out of one if not two windows (sunroof included in this count)

Heated Front Seats—Radio—MP3-CD

Music selection of someone’s choice

Based on Traffic: Hand signals, quick turns and cursing

On Window GPS Navigation System at no extra charge

Complementary Loud and Happy Meet & Greet service at the airport

Old and Dirty Sports Coupes

tired, cranky and loud yet trained (we’s got licenses) chauffeurs

24 hour, 7 days a week personal service

when we can if we can if we got gas, BUBBAS GOT GAS!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha

No Cash No Credit only Accept Payments in the form of hugs and kisses

You can call us whenever at: 336-XXX-XXXX or Click on Reservation Online to make reservation and we will Email you the confirmation number. We do appreciate any business and looking forward to picking yous up in the nearest future.

Reservation site currently not working as we can not figure out how to plug in dem cables to the puter, but jimmy’s typin this note up to you’s on his new leap frog educadiable system.

Now you tell me who would you want to drive your family members around? Well the family members that you still like that is. . . . . .